Lollapalooza Relationship Goals

My friend Shannon posted this photo of him and his gf, their All-Access wristbands and the city of Chicago at Lollapalooza. This is all the #relationshipgoals . It warms my heart and fills me with general life jealousy all at the same time. Yay! But also cut to me watching Dateline and eating delivery. Heart eyes emoji...but also crying emoji, wine emoji, crying emoji.

Every year, I tell myself that "next year" I'm going to get my act together, apply for a media pass (which I ALWAYS forget to do) and run my whole experience myself. Or I just hope to get lucky and someone passes me some all-access without me having to even ask because I hate asking because I feel like a super lame dick nugget. One half knows that I have to let people know I'm looking for a hook up if I hope to get a hook up, the other half is like "don't be a lame." One summer, a friend of mine had the All-Access hook up for Lollapalooza and gave me a pass. I'd give her my first born if she'd take it.

Every year, I'm like "that's fine, I like chilling too." And then I look at my Instagram and am swelled with an avalanche of Red Bull tears. "You should have just chugged a can of caffeine and pulled yourself together, Fernatt! Did you really want to stay in and 'avoid the crowds'? STFU, you liar."

This is why Shannon's photo is so #relationshipgoals. I mean, obvi, the good life is always a goal. Duh. But more than that, all these experiences are just enhanced by having someone's fingers entwined with yours. And can I tell you how bored I am with dating guys whose idea of an "activity" is getting wasted? I'm so bored with going to bars and doing the same shit every night. I want someone who is into hanging out with friends, because we have a bunch of friends, going to big festivals and surrounding yourself with all the things you love. Dedicating your life to pursuing the non-boring doesn't just apply to how you spend your 9 to 5, it's also how you spend the rest of your time.

Yesterday, I tried throwing it up to Tinder, the virtual Hail Mary of weekend plans. I thought "what if I post a My Story, show my empty wrist and ask for VIP." It 100% worked. I actually got a few offers. For the most part, my intuition was like FUCK NO. One was from a guy that I kinda realized I didn't want to spend the whole weekend with. I was getting a strong Dexter vibe from him. Another was a handsome man in his 40s who seemed completely legit. When I was finally like "sure, let's do this!", he got cold feet when he read my blog and realized I probably wouldn't just jump his bones. I'd say it was shockingly successful as far as getting strangers to offer me free tickets, but my wrist is still very naked...because I don't just get naked for any ol' whoever...the irony.

The positive spin I'm telling myself is that I'm hot enough on Tinder to get multiple offers for VIP or better for Lollapalooza 3-days. Ego boost? Check. Actually finding someone who didn't have Jack The Ripper eyes? Not quite.

Music has always been my central thing. I love going to shows. I love knowing musical types. I even did PR for a rock band in the early 2010s. What I want in my life is someone who loves the experience of music and live shows as much as I do. Someone who has dedicated their life to the pursuit of the creative. Who knows a life well spent is a life well lived. Who's ready to hold my hand through the process.

If you're at Lollapalooza, do you have any good Lolla Love Stories? I'm talking the good, the bad and the GET A ROOM!