Accidentally Sexy Challenge: Team Staying In

Right this very second, I am sitting on my couch, wearing an apron, listening to Dean Martin and smelling cookies as they bake.

This week's challenge is to have a romantic night for one. Pull out all the stops that you usually reserve for a night for two. Light candles. Turn up the table setting. Put on your favorite slow dance music. 

As a child, I would spend hours, maybe days, probably weeks day dreaming of the meals that I would make, the clothes I would wear, the perfumes I would wear when I met that special someone. What sweater would I wear when I go on an autumn walk with a handsome man? What perfume would I wear when he met me at my apartment to take me on a date?

It wasn't until I was in adulthood that any of that happened, but the fantasy of it all was so wonderful. Indulging in those fantasies felt like magic. I felt clued into something big, sparkly and wonderful. The smell of garlic. The clinking of glasses. The deep rose colors of a sunset over fading leaves and bonfire smells.

What I didn't know at 13, but I do at 31, is that those wonderful pictures I would conjure up were painted by the things of what I love. Not those of a fantasy future man. They were the things that would make me feel warm and special. They were the things that made my cheeks blush and eyes light up. They were the tools that would bring me into the candlelight moment.

You deserve all the wonderful romantic moments that you want. For me, the trick is to stop telling myself that I don't deserve them "yet." Sexiness is self-fulfilled. No one else makes you sexy. Sexiness comes from you alone. Now, don't you want to treat that beauty to some romance?

Sure, I still want to cuddle up to a plus one. For tonight, however, I'm indulging myself in all the ingredients of romance that I've dreamt about. It feels like I've tapped into a secret magic that I haven't felt in years. The magic of anticipation and belief. 

I've spent a lot of time denying myself the magic of feelings and romance, because I felt denied the faceless man of my preteen dreams.

Tonight, I feel like I've tapped into something very, very special.

Me. Right now. In all honesty, those cookies came out a little extra crispy. My mom's trick is to use Crisco instead of butter, but that stuff as palm oil and I can't pretend I don't know what the palm oil industry is doing to the world. I had to use butter which makes them come out more like this AND I had to try an egg replacement because I didn't have enough. Let me tell you though, they taste fantastic. That dress, btw, is by the fantastic Anna Hovet and the necklace is King Onye.

Me. Right now. In all honesty, those cookies came out a little extra crispy. My mom's trick is to use Crisco instead of butter, but that stuff as palm oil and I can't pretend I don't know what the palm oil industry is doing to the world. I had to use butter which makes them come out more like this AND I had to try an egg replacement because I didn't have enough. Let me tell you though, they taste fantastic.

That dress, btw, is by the fantastic Anna Hovet and the necklace is King Onye.